Punching Nazis is all the rage right now, but did you know there are other things you can do that are even more fun and rewarding?
I know, I know, you’re skeptical, but I’ve compiled a “top five” list, and internet lists are irrefutable.
1. Wearing tutus.
Everyone knows that once you put on a tutu, especially a pink tutu, you must instantly twirl around to show off your new look. Nazis, in particular, understood the influence of art on the masses – so, grab your nearest neighborhood Nazi and arrange a day of dressing up, twirling, and expressing your fabulous selves.
(Bonus points if a life-changing conversation and/or an entire ballet recital ensues.)
2. Not punching Nazis.
Remember growing up how fun it was to play the “I’m not touching you” game? This game had the dual benefit of avoiding trouble, while mercilessly irritating your sibling or best friend.
The adult version is essentially indistinguishable. The “winner” of this game gets the prize of not going to jail, and not ending up in a cell with Bubba making winky eyes at you.
3. Opening up so many browser tabs researching animal genitalia facts that your computer crashes.
Come on, let’s be honest; you do this every day anyway.
4. Learning new hobbies.
When I have the strong desire to commit physical assault against other people, I like to invest my pent up energy into a new and exciting hobby. There are many wonderful choices of hobbies out there – some may even suggest martial arts as particularly advantageous. However, my personal favorite recommendations are clogging, textile bleaching, and goat farming.
5. Putting a Hitler mustache on your cat.
And finally, as all good lists should, I’ve saved the best for last.
At the end of the day, is there anything more rewarding than saluting your soft and cuddly feline overlord?
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