Hannah Montana’s New Identity: Tiffany Trump?

Hannah Montana fans relieved and hopeful after seeing her speak at the Republican National Convention

By: Crystal Byrd

Look, let’s be real, we all knew that there was no way Hannah Montana turned into the celebrity known as Miley Cyrus. It doesn’t matter how many frat parties or drugs Miley and Lilly got into at college, it’s just not possible for Hannah Montana to become…this.

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Hannah Montana gave a speech at the Republican National Convention. Don’t get me wrong, I would never have guessed she’s been in hiding with the Trump family all this time, but it does make WAAAYY more sense than the enigma that is Miley Cyrus (if that is your real name).

Of course, the internet couldn’t fail to notice Hannah Trump onstage telling us how sweet her famous dad is or how stoked she is to see him become president. Twitter and websites alike outed Ms. Montana publicly, but like any person in hiding worth their salt, she has not responded to the claims.

Nobody is saying Tiffany Trump is really Hannah Montana, but they are saying you’ve never seen Tiffany Trump and Hannah Montana in the same room. Except me- I’m saying Tiffany is really Hannah. Call it a “fan theory” if you want, but let’s take another look at Hannah Montana.

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Now, let’s look at Miley Cyrus and you tell me if this is the same person:

(It’s not. Genetics be damned)

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Nope. That’s a whole bag of nopes. I don’t care what the credits say, that’s not Hannah Montana.

Now, let’s look at Tiffany Trump, and I think it’s pretty clear that Hannah’s been pulling the wool over our eyes for a few years now. I can’t say I blame her though, I mean being Donald Trump’s daughter has to have way more perks than being Billy Ray Cyrus’s daughter. As a Trump, Hannah’s probably been enjoying things like cotillions, watercress sandwiches, and Trump Steaks. I would imagine Billy Ray Cyrus is living royalty check to royalty check watching CMT Pure Vintage to console his Achy, Breaky, Heart.

Here’s Hannah Montana as her alter identity Tiffany Trump:

 

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Clearly, Hannah’s all grown up, and honestly Hannah Trump is hands down a more fitting finale for the teen pop superstar. Tiffany Trump just graduated with a double major in sociology and urban studies, and she made straight A’s. Tiffany has always been into music, even recording a single at 17. (Coincidence much?!)

Look, I get it- the world says Hannah Montana grew up to be Miley Cyrus. Sure, that may be the “truth”, but isn’t truth relative these days anyhow? I mean how do we know Tiffany doesn’t identify as Hannah Montana? Would Hannah ever be a Republican? Surely, Hannah Montana speaking at the Republican National Convention isn’t the strangest thing to happen there this week, right?   Stranger things here.