How Many Taco Trucks Does America Need?

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Written by Crystal Byrd

Passions are ignited and people on social media have identified a crucial policy position for the candidates. America needs to know- just how many taco trucks do candidates support on American street corners? Here’s the interview with Marco Gutierrez who is a founder of Latinos For Trump:

 

Age before beauty, so we’ll begin with Trump. The Donald knows that people are wild for the wall, so he assumes that they must find Mexicans and their culture to be frightening and subversive to the American dream. After all, we all know that people are single-minded in their bigotry. Americans don’t like Mexicans. (The Americans that count in this sort of discussion anyhow.) Mexicans created tacos; therefore, the Donald knows that Americans don’t like tacos. It follows, that when Gutierrez sows the seeds of the fear of taco trucks he was only speaking the words that Donald was thinking.

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We can’t neglect to elucidate on the Clinton stance. Hillary loves Mexicans, but she’s much more passionate about reaching out to the Latino community on behalf of taco bowls, not taco trucks. This does make sense if you realize that in California, which is the largest Democratic state, the Mexicans don’t own taco trucks. The only people in California, and most other Liberal communities, who own food trucks are hipster foodies with a fat startup cash investment from mom and dad. I’m talking to you Austin, Texas! So while Hillary doesn’t know much about taco trucks, she does know that Mexicans like tacos and she wants Mexican votes. Taco trucks in Hillary’s America are a go- as long as they pay all their licensing and inspection fees and meet stringent food safety guidelines at the federal and local level. Oh, as long as the owners vote for her. They will. Because if they don’t…y’know…she knows a guy.

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This is Liberty Viral, so let’s get to the good stuff. Just how does The Johnson feel about taco trucks? Gary wants taco trucks on every corner, but not just any shitty taco trucks run by non-Mexicans pretending to know how to make Mexican food. Gary Johnson wants you to be able to eat tacos from a taco truck, made by real Mexicans who came here to build a better life for their families, and didn’t have to wait 15 years to come immigrate legally. Gary wants the government out of your bedroom, your pocketbook, and out of taco trucks. If America manages to somehow have a brief and collective moment of sanity on November 8th and elect Gary Johnson, you can be damn sure that none of your tax dollars will be used on regulatory agencies that would oppress and hinder the dream of a taco truck on every corner.

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We should explain how Jill Stein feels about taco trucks… I guess. I mean, I’m pretty sure there’s at least fifteen people who want to vote for her so… we’ll just be brief. Jill Stein loves taco trucks. She loves them as long as they’re powered by ethanol and serving organic lettuce and tomato, free range meat, locally sourced salsa, and humanely procured cheese.

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TAKEAWAY MESSAGE: Vote for Gary Johnson if you love tacos. If you don’t love tacos, you can stay home on election day for being un-American.

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