Man Arrested For Stabbing Watermelon “Passive Aggressively”

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A 49-year-old Connecticut man was arrested for stabbing a watermelon in a passive-aggressive way.

Carmine Cervellino was arranged on Monday for charges of disorderly conduct and threatening. Police claim that his wife reported him to the authorities when Cervellino entered the room and began carving the watermelon in a way that appeared menacing and meant to intimidate her.

Initially the wife, who was not named in any reports, was concerned due to claiming she found drugs in her husband’s toolbox. She reported the drugs to police, but when she looked later they could not be found. Cervellino is not facing drug charges.

Police Chief Jim Campbell said: “In taking domestic violence very seriously here, we took this information, submitted it in an affidavit, which we’re bound to do here in the state.”

Cervellino was released on a $500 bond. Police say the couple is going through a bitter divorce.

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  • Steve Canon

    Police say the couple is going through a bitter divorce. I think that tells you everything you need to know. There are no laws governing how one carves up a watermelon.

  • bozimmerman

    Watermelons are people too!

  • Dawn – Naturally Texan

    Stupidity reigns supreme

  • WiseOldMan53

    To the woman sitting in the car who said, “You don’t wantta wait around for something to happen…” ~ Yeah, you’re right. I agree. So, since you do have that vagina, you really should be locked up for prostitution because, well you know, we can’t just sit around and wait for you to do something.

  • ratmand

    Thought action fusion is an error in perception where we assume our thoughts equal actions.

    If he just cut the watermelon and stuck the knife in it while doing so (ive done it when I need to put the knife somewhere to keep it clean if I have to leave mid way in), then ok. They weren’t too clear on how he did it, jut vaguely explained that it happened.

    And even if they were going through a bitter divorce…they’re living with each other. If he was that dangerous why live with each other?

    I guess they had a reason to be cautious, but it seems still very flimsy.

  • pup

    “Disorderly conduct???” What a crock of shit. Please tell me we don’t live in a society where the government gets to tell us what form of conduct we should carry ourselves with 24/7. It’s just a catch-all BS law that is completely subjective.

  • Next she’ll accuse him of molesting the children. It’s all part of the plan when getting divorced.