Happy New Year creepertarians! Last year’s “20 Hottest Libertarian Women Alive” list was such a mega hit that we decided to update it for 2015. We worked hard to find a ton of new names and faces for you, but boy was it hard. There were so many to choose from! The struggle is real. We also went out of our way to not duplicate any of the ladies from last year, save for one. But we had to keep her on the list because she’s so hot right now. So hot.
Also, need we remind you that this list is in no particular order? We know for a fact that 90% of you aren’t even going to read this fluffy-puff commentary up here and you’re just going to scroll down to the list, which is TOTALLY RUDE! This took a VERY long time to compile for you, and our panel of certified libertarian judges have been sweating for weeks to make sure that we get it right. So please, listen to us… this list is NOT IN RANKING ORDER! It’s freaking RANDOM!
Disclaimer out of the way, we also do our best to remain respectful. Last year’s brouhaha resulted in a flurry of related articles, and happily the websites and personalities who we thought would be the most critical were the ones who cheered us on. Probably because we didn’t make it skeezy. We wanted it to be fun! And besides, are we freaking conservatives here or what? Why can we not celebrate the beauty of a woman who is ALSO insanely intelligent? We think these ladies deserve a day in the spotlight today for everything that they have to offer to sweet, sweet, liberty. Don’t you agree? You’re not reading? Whatever. Scroll down.
#20. Virginia Postrel
Virginia Postrel is wicked smart. And she also fell out of the beautiful tree and hit every branch on the way down, it seems. She was an editor of Reason Magazine and works at Bloomberg View. She studied English at Princeton, and is a proponent of “dynamism,” an optimistic change philosophy that favors a free market organized through spontaneous order. You might have seen her on Penn & Teller’s famous show “Bullshit!” or seen her TED talk about the power of glamour.
#19. Miriam Weeks
Our cover girl Miriam Weeks, AKA “Belle Knox” is a rising star in the liberty movement, but she’s already a star in the porn industry. Yes, she’s a pornstar. And that’s pretty much the definition of hotness. Still, she’s not just a perfect face and figure, she’s tremendously intelligent, writing columns for Young Voices foundation, as well as Time Magazine.
Weeks criticized the college financial aid bubble, and postulated that the inflation of tuitions was due to government financing. Bravo Ms Weeks! May we please to be your friend? She seems like a nice girl, right?. *tip of the fedora*
#18. Marianne Copenhaver
“Libertarian Girl” makes the list again this year due to the fact that she’s extreme hotness AND she’s all over the news. If you haven’t been living in your parent’s basement like a little creepertarian, and you’ve been following the news cycle, Libertarian Girl is under attack! Neocons are piling on attacking her because she was recently hired by Rand Paul to do social media work. The women coming after her are probably hella jealous though. I mean, why would you choose a neocon over a libertarian? Marianne has everything anyone could ever want in a woman. And that’s pretty much how it is.
#17. Yvette Guinevere – AKA Science Babe
Alright you paranoid, GMO-hatin, conspiracy lovin’, 9’11 truthin’, chemtrail snortin’, vaccine fightin’, anti-science sums of bitches… MEET YOUR ENEMY AND DESPAIR!
Science Babe brings skeptical snark to the pseudoscientific shills of the woo industry. Yvette’s built herself a loyal troll army of pro-science skeptics and libertarians, and she made big headlines last year for crushing homoeopathic remedies in the Daily Mail. She’s also flippin’ gorgeous. Love ya Science Babe. Experiment on us any day!
#16. Avens O’Brien
Avens, pronounced “ahh-vens,” is the hottness. She’s got looks. She’s got brains. She’s got charm. And she’s got Judd Weiss, her boyfriend, who was on last year’s 20 Hottest Libertarian Men Alive list. So it looks like she’s got it all. She’s also super sweet and charming, and friendly to those in need. A good friend to all who have come into contact with her, and even some who haven’t. Avens works with Euro Pacific capital, and the Thoughtful Media Group. That makes sense, since she’s a very thoughtful person. AND WICKED HOT!
#15. Angelika Noel Malik
Angelika Noel Malik was super pissed that she wasn’t on last year’s “hottest” list. How do we know? She unleashed her rage on the comments section! Oh lawdy, lawd was that a nightmare. Still, she made some damn good points, and we’re not going to argue with her. In fact, part of the reason we put her on is simply out of fear for our own lives and well being.
On a more serious note though, she’s also very talented. She worked at the Daily Caller and the Public Notice. She studied Political Science at the University of California, San Diego, and is, sadly, getting married soon. Sorry gents! Too bad.
#14. Sloane Shearman
Sloane is not someone you want to cross. And we’ll admit, we at Liberty Viral were a little terrified that putting her on this list might make her come after us. But then we thought, ehh fuck it, why not? We’ve seen Sloane tearing it up in the comment sections on Facebook, ripping statists and conservatives a new one online. But in person, she’s actually very sweet! That’s what you want in a woman though. Beautiful, sweet, but tough as nails if you ever cross her.
She currently works at Learn Liberty at IHS, and makes all those amazing videos that you guys have seen. She’s very talented, and pretty, and that’s why she’s on the list.
#13. Alicia Baldelli
This lovely ballerina is a Ron Paul lova’ who recently started her own public Facebook page called “Lady of Liberty.” She’s sort of new around these parts, but insiders are aware of her increasingly rising star. Ms Baldelli might be the most beautiful woman the world has ever seen. But we are not going to try and make this a competition. She’s earned her place here amongst the pantheon.
#12. Sarah Skwire, PhD
Be still my heart! Sarah, thou art as lovely as thou art wise. Skwire studied English Literature at the University of Chicago, and is a fellow at Liberty Fund. She’s also crazy pretty, and super nice. She identifies as a libertarian feminist, but she’s not all rude or crazy like Marxist feminists are. Instead, she tries to educate ladies about how the free market can help lift up women all around the world. She’s also written poetry, and had her worked featured in The Freeman.
Our hearts are aflutter whenever we see her in public. Sooooo pretty. She’s basically the perfect woman. And we love her. Will she love us back? Or is that being creeper? Call us Sarah!
#11. Alexis Nicole Esneault
This lovely lady of liberty popped on our radar last year when she became known for her hardcore libertarian activism. She’s the Alabama State Chair of Young Americans for Liberty, and a Campus Coordinator for Students for Liberty. Her smile will melt your heart, right before she BREAKS IT, because we’ve heard she’s taken. Too bad. So sad. Liberty waits for no man.
#10. Reem Tahir
Whoa. Seriously. What. The. Flip.
Where did this woman come from? Heaven? LAWD! Reem is amazing! Let’s just put looks aside here for a moment, because you NEED to know who this is. Reem was a communications manager for the BAMF Republican Art Alas’ congressional campaign in Southern California. He was the “Sriracha Republican,” remember? Oh, well this might make it easier.
Reem is the Director of Development at Liberty in Pink, and a Chairman at Young Americans for liberty. She’s a freaking go-getter mangs. Very impressive young up and comer. She will own the liberty movement in 5 years, we predict. And we will willingly give our affirmative consent. She’s from California after all, so it’s the mutha fuckin LAW!
#9. Catherine Sumner
Catherine Sumner is a proud lipstick lesbian, hardcore libertarian, trash talkin’ lady of liberty. She’s also related to the historic William Graham Sumner (Skull and Bones member boogedy boogedy), who penned the famous classical liberal screed “What Social Classes Owe Each Other.”
Catherine is so freaking gorgeous that we, like, can’t even. She used to work for the Crime Center, but now she works for the Professional Lobbying and Advocacy Center. Cat, you don’t need a lobby to win the crony capitalist contract of our heart. We’ll gladly give away to you voluntarily.
#8. Laurie Rice
Laurie Rice reminds us of a modern day Dagny Taggart. She’s on the Executive Board at Students for Liberty, and studied philosophy at Cornell. That ought to tell you right there that she ain’t someone to be trifled with. Laurie is exceptionally beautiful, and well spoken. She’s a true delight to be around, and does an excellent job spreading the message of liberty.
#7. Jacqueline Silseth
If there were a ranking system to this, and there isn’t, Jackie would be a contender for the top spot. Not only is she WAY hot, but she’s also pretty much the nicest person ever. I can’t think of a single person that doesn’t know her AND love her. She’s an intern coordinator at the Leadership Institute, and used to work with YAL and the Year of Youth. Ms Jackie, Valentine’s Day is swiftly approaching. Please to be our valentine?
#6. Meg Gilliland
The world is a better place because there are people like Meg in it. She’s a regular on the newly popular “Bourbon & Bitches” podcast, and is a former project manager at Liberty.me. Meg’s a tough son of a gun too. You don’t want to mess with her. She’s got bros in different area codes, to back her up of course. Because she’s also married, we hear, and that’s sad. Because pretty, smart, libertarian women are like white rhinos.
#5. Melissa Denker
Ms Denker is the executive director of Liberty in Pink. They’re a political action committee (PAC) devoted to helping empower more libertarian women. She’s needed more than ever!
#4. Lucy Steigerwald
Lucy is one bad bitch. And we mean that as a compliment. She’s tough as nails. Hardcore antiwar, anarchocapitalist. She hates the state, but the state should fear her. Because her radical rhetoric is influencing people to get off the teat of big government, big war, and big corporatism. She’s also terrifically beautiful in that alternative way. Sometimes these rad girls are just so badass that it’s like DAMN, that’s a freakin hot woman! We ain’t gonna deny it.
Oh, and did we mention that she writes for Vice Magazine, AntiWar.com and Rare? She’s also got her own little home on the net, the Stag Blog. Despite the fact that she’s terrifically talented, her blog only has 420 likes. What’s up with that? Like her page. She’s amazing. And tweet her. If we plug everything you have Lucy will you please not kill us?
#3. Moriah Costa
Moriah is a lovely lady of liberty who is an education reporter at Watchdog News. She’s been spotted at liberty events, making waves, and taking names. Her background is in business journalism, so politicians should despair if she is assigned to their beat, because word has it that her pen is mightier than their swords.
#2. Naomi Brockwell
Great googly moogly! She’s unbelievable! Ms Brockwell is the Bitcoin Girl! She is a policy associate at the Bitcoin Center in NYC, and a program officer at the Moving Picture Institute. As if that weren’t enough, SHE’S GORGEOUS! Look at her lovely, flowing red hair. Have you heard her accent? No? Listen to her speak! Wow! She’s amazing. She deserves to be on this list. We imagine that even being in her presence is itself an experience.
#1. Corie Whalen Stephens
Well fellas, she’s already married, so just get any impure thoughts you might have had out of your head. Corie’s fantastic! She currently works at Generation Opportunity and has worked for Young Americans for Liberty in the past. She lives in Houston, Texas, where there are probably higher concentrations of libertarian women than anywhere else in the world. We’re just guessing there. Not only is she a hardcore activist, but she’s devastatingly gorgeous. Kudos to her lucky groom!
So, what did you think of our list? Did it shock you? Did it offend you? Do you have complaints? Were you mad you were left out? Leave your thoughts below, and SHARE SHARE SHARE!
Also, we have a question for y’all. Is it even worth it to redo the guy’s list? Do you want that? Because we’ll do it, if we have to. We are equal opportunity offenders. But seriously if you want it y’all better freakin’ read it! Because these lists take TIME yo!
Let us know what you think below.