Woman on Scooter Shoplifts Dinner While Rolling Through Walmart

Written by Crystal Byrd

Josseleen E. Lopez was arrested in Florida after rolling dirty through Walmart aisles throwing back a bottle of wine and some snacks. Josseleen told deputies she had just injected methamphetamine and was hungry.

I would like to take a moment and say that while I do not endorse the use of meth or stealing, this lady deserves a Thug Lyfe award.

Fox 4 reports:

According to a Citrus County Sheriff’s Office arrest report, security officer Robert Gross observed Josseleen E. Lopez, 25, consume $32.36 worth of food and wine inside the Lecanto store.

Gross says he watched Lopez open some sushi, eat a piece and then put it back on the shelf. He says Lopez did the same thing with a package of mini muffins and cinnamon rolls. He says Lopez also ate most of a rotisserie chicken.

I couldn’t help but think of her while sitting on my couch on New Years Eve doing what many parents of young children do, eating cupcakes and desperately hoping my kid sleeps through the fireworks. There was no crazy partying on my agenda or wild night of drinking and I could just imagine myself in a grand display of defiance strolling into my local WalMart, finding the nearest motorized shopping cart and rolling like a boss- right to the wine section.

I don’t think I would go sushi and cinnamon rolls though, I’m nearly certain I would have gone for Jalapeño Cheetohs and Donuts…those pair well with wine, right? I may even have gotten really crazy and hit up the home decor section…because candles. On a precautionary note, I also do not endorse rolling through Walmart with lit candles on a motorized scooter drinking wine with orange fingers and sprinkles in your hair. That being said, if you do- please come to Rockport Texas to do it, so I can give you a Hunger Games solidarity salute before I head back to the couch.

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